Saturday, May 28, 2011

Kristin Chenoweth, "I Want Somebody (Bitch About)"

So, have you heard?  Tony-winning Broadway actress/singer Kristin Chenoweth will release her first country album, Some Lessons Learned, on September 13.  Will it be any good?  Well, the woman definitely knows how to sing and entertain, and she's working with some good songwriters (including the legendary Diane Warren).  A Randy Travis duet is also in the works, which is another encouraging sign.  At any rate, it comes as a surprise that she and her label have churned out a debut single that is, in all honesty, utterly wretched.  Jaw-droppingly terrible.  Abysmally atrocious.

It sounds like the amazing award-winning talents of Kristin Chenoweth were taking a siesta during this recording session, because all I hear is a cacophony of screeching and whining swamped in excessive auto-tuning.  Her performance on this track is shrill, thin, and downright painful for the ears to hear. 

But even if Kristin had delivered a world-class vocal performance, there would still be no saving this song.  "I Want Somebody" is meant to be about a woman's search for unconditional love, but it ends up a stupid rattled-off laundry list of 'I-wants,' which range from dull, to cheesy, to flat-out ridiculous.  From "I want somebody I can bitch about" to "I want somebody who can make me insane, completely crazy," this is an awful song.

"I Want Somebody" is thoroughly finished off by a grating, overcrowded arrangement, thus driving the final nail in the coffin, and ensuring that this abhorrent single is an epic fail from every angle.  If Kristin Chenoweth ever wants to be taken seriously as a country artist, then some major re-evaluating of strategies is in order, because this here is definitely not working.  Listen at your own risk.

KRISTIN'S SCORE:  1
(Scores are given on a scale of 1 to 10)