Saturday, April 16, 2011

Luke Bryan - "Country Girl (Shake It for Me)"

Summertime isn't here just yet, but mainstream country artists are already armed with loads of brainless summer tunes to throw at the wall, and see how well they stick.  During this time of year, we find that many male artists live in a world filled with attractive women who exist only so that men may stare at their 'badonkadonks.'  Thus, the only question that remains is "How bad is it going to be this year?"

If the new Luke Bryan single is any indication, then we're in for a long and bumpy ride.  Okay, Luke, let's see how many summerish country cliches you can spit out in the next minute.  Ready?  GO!  Pick-up truck!  Boots!  Georgia mud!  Tractor!  And now, as an extra twist, we shall place the gyrating female tush on top of the hood of said tractor!

DING!  Time's up.  Now on to the next challenge:  You must now repeat the phrase "Shake it for me, girl" over and over until you drive all discerning listeners to self-injury.  Congratulations!  You now have me banging my head against the barn wall in perfect time with the heavy drum beat and guitar licks.

To Luke's credit, the amount of personality in his performances often lifts even his not-so-good material to a somewhat tolerable level.  But in this case, his country boy charm is merely the only thing keeping the song from getting an abysmal score of 1.  He all but won me over with the super-fun "Rain Is a Good Thing," but "Someone Else Calling You Baby" was a step down from that, and this song is an even bigger step down from that.  Now that the song has been thoroughly beaten into the Georgia mud, "Country Girl (Shake It for Me)" seems like a strong contender for the title of "Most Insufferable Country Summer Tune of the Year." 

But wait... Here come the Frankie Ballard and Jake Owen entries!  So stay tuned!  Or don't.

(Scores are given on a scale of 1 to 10)